4/25/12 -- Well I neglected my page for a while. Hopefully I can keep up on it this time, while business is relatively slow at work. Here's hoping.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Restaurant Etiquette and SotD

     Ok, so here's another little rant of mine, and I promise to keep it rather short. Have you ever gone to restaurant, more specifically a sit-down place and gone, "What time do you close?"  "10 o'clock."  "Oh good, we still have 15 minutes left."  Seriously? Don't do this. Amongst other things, here is a short rant of how to behave in a public eating establishment.
     Pro Tip: If you have a bad attitude coming in, you are already determined to not have a good experience. Don't sit there and argue with your significant other/children/parents/person on the phone for the world to hear. It embarrasses the people sitting around you for accidentally eavesdropping on everything, it makes you look foolish, and it makes you the laughingstock of the kitchen. You think the servers don't tell the cooks about you arguing with hubby about why the babysitter was naked that day? 
     Pro Tip #2: Tip. No that wasn't a typo. Don't be a jerk. Do you realize how much servers make? Minimum wage is $2.70/hr for tipped employees in Michigan. The Federal minimum wage is $2.13. So that means in any given state, you could be giving the shaft to someone who's only making $2.13 to take care of you, your friend, your screaming kid, and your ancient great great grandmother who can't eat any seasoning, salt, gluten, fat, sugar, or dairy products. So, to be a nice person, tip % starts at the LEAST 15%. Most ppl start at between 18-20% and work their way up or down based on the quality of service. Oh, and before you think I'm an enraged server, I'm not, nor have I ever been a server. I can't stand working with the people who are so needy and whiny and I can't have this, or this, can you do this instead? Or I don't want this and this on my _______, can I get ______ instead?  No. The answer is no. And that's why I don't serve. Also, if you feel like your food was very exceptional, don't be afraid to throw the cooks a few bucks or even just a compliment. Its as easy as telling your server, my food was delicious please give this to the cooks or please tell the cooks I loved it. Most cooks appreciate knowing their hard work didn't just get shoved down your throat without being tasted.  
    Pro Tip #3: As stated in the intro, do NOT come into a restaurant with anything less than a half an hour left. Especially if you have a group of 4 or more, don't even come in with an hour left. Why? Look at it like this: If we are scheduled to close, we are looking to get out of work AT close. We realize its unrealistic, but that's the goal anyway. By 8, we are already trying to clean up for the night. By 9 we don't expect any more orders but two or three isn't going to set back our close any. And by 9:45 we are almost done, we have the grill cleaned off, the fryers filtered and scrubbed, cutting boards cleaned and back in place, steam wells broken down and iced, and most everything is wrapped and put away. 
                                            Then you walk in. 
     Guess who just single-handedly pissed off 2 cooks, a dishwasher, a manager, a server, and a bartender (at the least)?  You did. All because you want what? A burger and fries? Cheese sticks? Seriously? Go to either A.) A bar that is open late, because most of them serve burgers and fries and cheesticks and other sandwiches and whatnot; or B.) Fast food. McDonald's, Burger King, I Don't Care. Most fast food joints are open at 10 o'clock nowadays and you're going to get the same service and quality of food from us that late at night as you are there. Not that I'm knocking fast food's quality, I eat there all the time, I'm just saying you're pretty much gonna get the same food, and are paying twice as much for it.  
                                Here, lemme break it down for you.
      If you and so and so come in with 15 min left, you're gonna sit down and order your drinks, they come back, its now 9:50. If, with any luck, you know what you want, you order, it gets back to us by oh, 9:53. Average cook time is between 7 and 10 min, higher or lower depending on difficulty of item or if you want specifics added and/or taken off of it. In any case, its after 10 when you GET your food (closing time). Then you dick around and eat for 15 min, while everyone back of house is frantically cleaning up everything you've dirtied up. Your server is trying their hardest not to just tell you to leave already when they bring you the check, and then you decide, "Oh, I want a dessert." Did you notice that the server didn't ASK if you wanted one? Its because they don't care what you want at this point. They want to get home. Be with THEIR family/friends/animal/video game console/whatever. But anyway, now its 10:25 and the cooks see that dessert ring in, and they are all but ready to walk out to you, knife in hand, and escort you out of the establishment. 10:28 and your dessert arrives, looking more like an explosion of ice cream and chocolate with strawberry blood than the chocolate lava cake you saw in the picture. You FINALLY leave at 10:30 to the sounds of the doors locking shut behind you and lights clicking off.  Server looks at your tip. 10%? Really? on a $30 meal, you leave 3 bucks? You've now become the lowest of the low. And the next time you walk in to that restaurant, servers will fight to NOT serve you. Happy now? 

    So, I didn't keep it short. But I enjoyed it. If you read this far, I hope it enlightened you a little bit, and if not, then keep bein the jerk that you're determined to be; I can't change you if you don't want to be changed. But, onto a much better topic...

Song of the Day!!!
     I'll make this short and sweet since the rest of the post wasn't and because I have to leave for work in 3 minutes. Today's song comes from Metallica and is called Master of Puppets. Anyone who knows Metallica should know this song, and anyone who's played the Rock Band titles should know this song, and anyone who's played Guitar Hero Metallica should know this song. So, to make a long story short, there should be thousands of ppl who know this and this won't be anything new, but it came on my playlist twice in a row by two different artists, so I figured it was a sign. And as an added bonus, I'll put up both versions. Enjoy!

    First, is from Metallica, and is just song and lyrics, not official video.

Next, is from David Garrett and is a live show from Berlin. 


  1. the restaurant tips where really interesting, i know everyone shoulf know this, but, it looks like there's a lot of idiots that don't!
    nice post

  2. I agree, and I tend to be generous with the tips but sometimes if the service is terrible enough to ruin the meal for me then I don't give a large tip.

  3. Cool blog bro.
    Added and everything.
    Comment back to remmind me.